Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
