i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
