So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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