apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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