she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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