Banned from zoo.
Again?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
