PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
