Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
