i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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