the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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