If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
