dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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