I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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