how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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