this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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