Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
