I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
