Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
