Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Sext me about skeletons
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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