plz talk dirty to me
Define "chronic" masturbator.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
