I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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