I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
