Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
