been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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