Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
