So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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