Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
