I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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