So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
oh god was she eating orange peels again
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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