Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
