I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
