He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
