marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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