This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
