Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
