Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
