so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
