you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
