If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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