I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
