I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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