We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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