This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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