Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
