i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
