Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
