I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Randomize