I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
