Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
