p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
