Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
