my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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