so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
