is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Pooping to opera.
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