just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
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