is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Randomize
