you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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