This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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