My balls are so social today.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Please don't give away my fajitas
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
