It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
