He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
