lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
