I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
