we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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