capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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