My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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