Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
