I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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