I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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