if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
she looked like the before picture.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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